The Mind of the Boho Bride on her Wedding Day
You saw him from afar, the guy of your wildest dreams, you made a friend, you got a little closer than friends, you started to realize you couldn’t do without him, then he proposed. So you conquered the uncharted coasts of (insert name here), pretty much! Engagement ring on finger, preparation for the bohemian wedding of those same wildest dreams under way, it strikes you hard …there’s the wedding night to come, the moving in, the MARRIAGE, the walk into the sunset, it’s deep, it’s vast, it’s real life and it’s yours. You’re stoked.
Clearly, you’ve zoned in on the ‘ONE’ or maybe even the ‘TWO’ (bridal separates), as far as your gown is concerned, you’ve opted for a few customizations to make it just right and can’t wait to try on the final product. There’s no time to play the waiting game though, since a sweet ton of things need doing, including all your cray-cray DIY projects…and you’re more than a little worried about enlisting enough help from your busy collective F&F for that.
The fact is, you chose a laid back wedding, a boho wedding and a beautiful, simple wedding dress because you’re chill as a freakin’ ice cube…well, usually. At the mo, a strange panic is setting in, especially since you’ve given yourself exactly 3 months to plan absolutely everything, plus your boss decided to hit you with an extra couple of tasks, with a smile: say whaaaat?!
The fact is, you’re usually so chill that you half expect it’ll ice your windshield over, but now, your system is awash with a totally odd compilation of hormones, neurotransmitters and a trance party of conflicting emotions, What The Actual F? You feel like a walking sweating teepee. Um…are you seriously getting married?
The months before the wedding are jam packed, the feelings unusual, sorta like…premenstrual. Still, when the day finally arrives, it can be really intense, your laid back persona might even seem to have gone underground when you wake up from that nervous, probably pretty disrupted sleep. Let’s talk about some of the things that go through a bride’s mind on her wedding day: a day so full of action that it often speeds by far to fast to be fair. Maybe, knowing what to expect will help that special, once in a lifetime day tick by a little slower. Maybe, reading this will help you make the most of it, instead of stressing.
#1: “Okay, checklist item A, OMG, B, Oh no, C, what was it again?” The longest night of your life
Remember those December 24’s as a kid, biting your nails in almost unbearable anticipation…or the same, before your finger-displayable birthdays? There might only be one night, post-childhood, that could compare to that sort of insane sleeplessness. There’s one night that may well make you feel like an 8 year old again, exhausted as you are from a week of work, final, mad preparation dashes and nervous tequilas with the crew…and that’s the night before your wedding.
That totally necessary, desperately craved beauty slumber will likely be standing somewhere near Jupiter, laughing at you hysterically, no sheep in sight, just a still standing pasture fence and a gate… the gate to the rest of your life.
The night before your wedding, you will be running over every single aspect on your wedding schedule, looking at every corner of your ideal image to try to find something amiss. You’ll be wasting your time, that much goes without saying but the fact is that you won’t be able to help yourself.
Boho diva or no, remember, stress is a leading cause of outbreaks and God forbid you wake up after a 3 hour snooze with a whopper on your chin, your forehead, or even…your NOSE! Meditate, watch a movie that’ll draw your attention, drink some red wine but for goodness sake, get some sleep and eat so you don’t look like the boho chic walking dead.
#2 “No thanks, I’m too excited to eat.” The champagne pain
Girl, don’t be cray. Studies have shown that the brain is responsible for burning 20% of your body’s energy. What happens when you’ve been stressing and worrying obsessively and you wake up with about 82 voices in your head is that that number goes up.
Even if you’re a careful eater and hunger is the very last thing on your mind; even if you’re terrified of bloating your tummy and being gaseous at the altar (just imagine), the fact is, now more than ever, you need a bigger than usual, high energy breakfast, along with about an hour to let it settle before you get too active.
No doubt you’ll be quick to accept that second champers and OJ but on a stomach that’s got no more than a small yogurt in it, all that you’ll get in return is a feeling of being wind-blown, in a place with no wind and legs that feel disinterested in the idea of keeping you moving.
#3 “It’s too much, it’s all too much!” The panic attack
It matters not how much you disapprove of time wasting, fluttering, near terminal glee, hugs and freakin’ expectations…that’s because, this morning, however many people RSVPed, well, that’s how many people will have you at or pretty dang close to their center of attention and there will be no escape.
What I’m saying is, basically, you just gotta chill like you’ve never chilled before and let folk fuss over you, don’t let them make you do anything unthinkable like wear a shade of pink lippy that makes you look 20 shades feminine-er that yourself . Otherwise, what’s gonna be going through this bride’s head is a whole lotta: “It’s too much, it’s too much…OMG, WTF?!!”
And seriously, bridechillas aka (dreamers & lovers brides), ladies of the times, don’t do panic attacks…how you gonna wear a laid back wedding dress, a totally groovy bohemian wedding dress and act like a high strung nut-case? That type of foolishness is for cupcakes, hello!
The Bohemian Wedding Day..and Dress
#4 “I feel ridiculous, walking slowly down this aisle like an airhead.” The princess parade
The aisles walk; okay, think about this one. Try it out with whoever is handing you over, do rehearse. Don’t parade yourself for the guests, walking at the pace of a song which makes you feel constipated, in front of a smiling, awkward audience.
Choose music with a pace that’ll get you there in just enough time to think: “Well he is looking fine, and so am I, and this is really happening in 3, 2, 1.” The aisle walk is a special thing and too much of: “this is taking ages, I feel stupid smiling at everyone, oh shoot he must be wondering why he’s here” is gonna leave you flustered when you arrive at the altar.
You should be looking at your man all the way, making eye contact even, thinking “SCORE, SCORE!”
#5 “Um………………………………………….” Terror in virgin territory
Believe it, there are still a great many boho sistas who, for religious, cultural or moral reasons, will be getting their cherry picked for the first time on their wedding night. For those chaste chillitas, there will likely be one of two tracks of thought traversing their minds pretty incessantly all day (with variations, depending on what kind of intel they have, from whatever sources, about the Birds, Bees and things like Man-bottoms).
Track 1: I hope he still likes me once he’s seen my nipples, my lady bits and my extensive (and possibly not as bad as you think) cellulite…and I hope he doesn’t expect me to act like a porn star…oh, oh and …I hope I still love him once I’ve met Walter (ahem).
Track 2: Oh My Word, Can We Hurry This Reception Up Or What? As in, look how fine he is all clad in his blue suit, I cannot cope any longer?!
Not every girl grows up imagining every detail of her ideal wedding celebration, day in and day out. In fact, a good many sistas, especially those of the free-spirited, hair in the wind, soulful, boho persuasion…they get caught with a serious case of romance, unexpectedly and from the stars enough to have the whole idea of floral crown, crying moms and all the wedding proverbials be really, truly, fully, awkward…and every little traditional fluff can end up feeling a task for, depending on just how much of a hippie spirit you are: unless of course, you learn from our D&L brides, run over your bridechilla mantra at least every hour or so…
“Let me just, make the guy proud, instead of making him wonder”
“an easy wedding portends an easy marriage”……. or something to that effect, just relax, put your hands in your boho wedding gown with pockets, thank goodness this is 2018 and such things are possible….breathe, and savor the miracle of it all.
Wishing you love and freedom. xx
All photos of Bride Carolina + Groom Nate’s wedding was taken by the freakin talented Katie Edwards Photo
Interested in reading the details of Nate’s & Carolina’s laid-back Tulum boho wedding see it here